{"id":2431,"date":"2016-06-04T15:30:00","date_gmt":"2016-06-04T07:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.orientday.com\/?p=2431"},"modified":"2016-06-04T15:30:00","modified_gmt":"2016-06-04T07:30:00","slug":"hr-englishthe-state-mental-hospital-phone-menu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/chinajobbox\/hr-englishthe-state-mental-hospital-phone-menu\/2431\/","title":{"rendered":"HR English:The State Mental Hospital Phone Menu"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Please select from the following options menu:<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.orientday.com\/2016\/06\/04\/hr-englishthe-state-mental-hospital-phone-menu\/the-state-mental-hospital-phone-menu-orientday\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2432\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-2432 aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/ta-thumbnails-cache\/TAdownload\/2016\/6\/2431-1.jpg\" alt=\"The State Mental Hospital phone menu orientday\" width=\"476\" height=\"440\" \/><\/a><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<p><!--wechatfans start--><\/p>\n<div>If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are manic-depressive, it doesn\u2019t matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won\u2019t be crazy forever.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>If you are blonde, don\u2019t press any buttons, you\u2019ll just mess it up.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>(Well, my job is done \u2026..Your turn!)<\/div>\n<p><!--wechatfans end--><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu: If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2432,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2431","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-chinajobbox","has-featured","has-left-col"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2431","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2431"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2431\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2431"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2431"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.jobsapk.com\/zh\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2431"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}